The Place Where Nobody Wants to Be.

The Place Where Nobody Wants to Be.

I have brunt all my three diaries which had carried my past experiences. For personal narrative, I am compelled to remember my past what I really do not want. Is it right to remember my past while I have thrown all my past diaries in the dustbin? Remembering past does not mean being weak and emotional? Now I believe in what had happened was best, what is happening is best and what will happen in my future will be also best so does it make any sense by remembering and writing about my past experience? I am here and I proud to be this strong Sangam and this is because of my past bitter experiences and my commitment so do I have to present my past positively or negatively is the question. Now I believe, we should be always optimistic and positive so I think I should proud of my past than regression. There are a lot of questions which remain unanswerable however I reveal my past in this paper. 

I am Sangam Babu Malla. There are six members in my family. My father is pensioned teacher now he is doing social service because of his position as Wada president in last local level election. My brother serves in Nepal Army and sister works as a cashier in a company. My mother and sister in law remain at home as house wife. I am doing MA in Kathmandu.  My permanent address is Morang district, Kerabari Gaupalika Wada no: nine.

Our family migrated to Morang from Okhaldhunga in 2063 BS.  I had passed class six in Okhaldhunga however I compelled to join again in class six because of my father. We five members were in new place and father went Okhaldhunga in his teaching. The place was new, environment was new, and people were new for us. We were struggling in the new place for our survival. I was new student for school as well as to my own class. I had not recognized all students in my same class. However, within few days I became very close to one girl and used to share my difficulties to be familiar with students. Her name was Bindu Rai and I still vividly remember the first slap of that long haired boy in my cheeks. The boy was anger with me because I was close to Bindu who was his forceful girlfriend but I did not know. I was talking with her and he came near to me with five six boys and slapped me without saying anything. He threatened me and he left the place. I could do nothing, I was helpless, I did not have friends who could help me. Bindu was staring in my red face and I was in fear of that boy to whom I did not recognize. After that day I did not speak with her but she was excusing me. This event is small but I mentioned here because we left our birthplace and went in new place where I got first slap from different person within fifteen days without doing wrong but I could not do anything which frequently hints me.

The days were passing; I started to recognize all students, teachers, people and neighbors in new place. In eight class I deserved third position as well as I became the secretary on the child club. Child Club became my good platform to expose me. I collected different experiences from club in two years. I still have to thank to an organization (CDF Nepal) for sponsorship. After two years I passed the SLC being school topper and left that school as well as child club. I joint at Sukuna Multiple Campus. I passed +2 and I joint bachelor in same college.

The child Club had aroused desire to me to do social work because we used to conduct different program related with children and society. After leaving school I was so closely observing my village and its activities. There was not transparency in different organization and budget. There were few leaders who used to handle the social organization and used to conduct the national budget. They used to choose the developing plans without asking villagers, go VDC office, take budget and used to implement their plans according to their interests. Nobody was daring to question over their deeds that I really did not like. 

I was doing bachelor and very much conscious about that strong nexus of corrupted few people. I planned to open a social organization collecting fresh youths and villagers who want to question over their monopoly of that few leaders because I had known very well single personal could not do anything to them. They were so organized that each people had to ask them to do anything because they were taken as the well known person. They were from all parties but they were never raising the voice against each other. They used to conduct the different development plans but they were not transparent that nobody knows the about budget, way of doing and people did not ask

I discuss with different youths and people about my concept of youth organization. They become very much positive and ready to support my concept. We especially youths become united and decided to start one social organization. We named Kosis Youth Club which was already existed there but dead. We also registered in district administrative office having different objectives. I became secretary of that club and we conduct football tournament as our first work. There were all most fifty active youths who had paid two thousand rupees for membership and our objective was to destroy that same people’s social nexus. We wanted to make naked to them about their doing. We decided to observe the account and their progression of different social organizations where the few people were handling all the things. I was the main designer to do that. We wrote letter to the office and said to submit their annual progression and account within seven days otherwise we will case in related office.

I still vividly remember, one unknown person made me one call offering one hundred thousand to stop that program. I did not listen him. We used to be in gathering and my priority was unification of youth rather than old because they are fresh and strong in their decision. We frequently asked for document and finally they gave. We collected all document and I distributed these document to each member of the club and said please study well and come with some errors. We gave one week to study documents. We study well and I surprised just looking at the account of Bhaluwa Saving and Credit Limited. There was not any account of thirty eight lakha rupees in their document. Others friends also came with other organization’s weakness. We all got surprise just looking that unbalanced account of all organization.

 We had to show this monopoly and corruption to all citizens and had to take their support to our further step. I called meeting and deeply talked about our further step. I purpose to conduct SARBAJANIK SUNUWAE program inviting national level Television channel where the president of our local organization will face the public and media. Some few friends were against this program but majority was in support. Finally we decided to conduct this program.

I sometimes alone smile just remembering their response about our decision. They tried their best to stop that program and I still remember that I had stopped to receive the call from new number. They were trying to persuade us, trying to threaten us, trying to create difficulties in our program. We were thinking we are doing what we had to do but they were falsifying us. However, we remained strong in our decision and continuing our effort to make our program successful.  We tried to call Avenues Television but we could not so we decided to call Arena channel. We wrote letter to all president to come being responsible to their organization. We had already set the questions to ask and distributed to the public with strong evidence. It was the right time to me to unmask them not only in local public but to all people who were watching our program in television. I was asking many questions with evidences and cross questioning and some presidents had become unanswered. We made that program successful but because of this program three president of organization had to face difficulties and they were angry to us specialty with me because they had taken me as the main designer of that whole program.

It was Shawna fifteen, my mother and sister were making Sellroti. I was living on a chair just wearing sendo and half paint. Police came at my home and arrested me. They were so inhumane that they even did not give time to change sendo and half paint. I was requesting to police but they were scolding me and one said “you will wear new dress in mamaghar”. I did not know why they were so rude and arresting me. I dared to ask why are you arresting me? what wrong I did? But I never forget that cruel face who punched in my head in front of my Mummy and said “do not be over smart and cleaver, we will massage you in mamaghar”. I remained silent and did not speak anything. My mother started to weep asking for my release but they were forcefully pushing me in their jeep. I was between two police and my tears were falling unknowingly.

Jeep reached near to police thana. They caught my arms and take to one room that was totally silent and surrounded by iron. I was said to enter that room and they locked me inside. It was all most six PM. I was vacant and do not know why they are taking me to this unknown place. One police were moving nearby my door but was not speaking anything. I was crying silently and the condition of that time I cannot express in words. I remembered my mum, family, friends and college friends. My tears were not asking to fall.

 After passing half an hour one person called me who was taking a paper in one hand. I went near to him. He was outside and I was inside. He gave me paper that was all about my cause and detail of arresting. He introduced himself as an officer of sector forest officer kerabari. He asked do you know why you are here? I said no sir. He asks another question, have you taken any woods from Garamjhoda Community Forrest? Yes sir I had taken two days ago. He again asks, do you have bill of that woods? I said I do not have. He become a bit rude and says you don’t have to pay? He again asks the question without giving me chance to speak, how many woods hove you stolen from that forest? Who are others? I was surprised and I started to speak I am not thief sir. Yes, I took that wood in my home but I have consoled with president and secretary of the forest committee. I do not have bill now but I have asked five days to bill because there was not money to pay with my mummy. Daddy is in Okhaldhunga for teaching. The secretary and president of our forest committee were also agreed and have given ten days to pay saying its also your forest do not worry for bill. Many members of this forest committee have taken woods first and paid later so do not worry to pay and I do not have bill sir.

The officer says “brother this is legal place we do believe in proves and documents. You are saying this but your president has cased you in our office, and if you have bill we release you, but now we cannot release, by low you are criminal, it’s our duty to file the case against you” I remain silent because I did not have bill to show him. It was almost nine PM, I was helpless and request him to leave me but he went without listening me. I become alone in that dark ironed room and one police was walking outside. I cried but nobody was listening me.  It was the great deceive by president of the forest committee to whom I had asked the question and could not speak in SARBAJANIK SUNUWAE in front of mass and media and had to face ....... She was taking revenge with me and I was weak by prove. I remain helpless and I had to reach in jail because of my commitment to make transparent and more democrat to my society.

            Next day, hundred of my villagers and supporters came but could do nothing for me. I was inside the room. I was listening the voice of Pujan Magar who was the president of our club. He was talking with inspector but inspector was saying same thing that you do not have bill so you can do nothing. The president of the forest committee was saying, we do can do nothing. Our woods was not in our placed area so we reported here. Sangam has taken this without informing us so we do not say anything for further process. Finally I became criminal and they decided to file the case. I was helpless, I could do nothing. I was compelled to face the punishment for that what I did not have any intention. Really sometimes we have to face such situation which we never imagined.

             Now, I cannot express all the experiences while I was inside the jail in words and I do not want too. One I really want to share is I was inside the room alone. Many people wanted to meet me but I refused to meet them. I used to think different things and used to weep alone. I never forget my mummy’s words while inside the ironed room.

 Once I had asked one question to one police who used to talk and want to be close with me that sir I am reading in bachelor level and I have listened that those persons who has faced the trial in court do not get government job and their name will remain in national criminal record so he/she does not get police report for job opportunity, is it right? But at that time he said do not worry, I also faced one case but I got this job so you also will get job and your certificate will work in everywhere. Till now I have not share this experience to my friends because I do not want remember. I have never asked the same question to anybody what I had asked to that police. Here I ask to you all? But I believe things happen for good reason so I do not regret, thank you.